29th
The path
I can say with some certainty that I haven’t felt the way I do in quite some time. I feel so drawn to God in ways I thought were gone. I had come to a place where I thought my usefulness was past and that I had missed my chance.
Now I can’t stop thinking and talking about what God is doing in my life. He’s constantly on my mind and His completely amazing grace is overwhelming to me.
I have been the person to turn away, to toss away things of value for things temporary. I have done horrible things. I have been a person lost, lonely and running from the truth. I have been the unfeeling drone that goes through the motions. The one seeking for some special truth that maybe somehow I missed.
You know, what Jesus has for us is simple. It’s grounded in his intense love for us all. Somewhere along the way I had forgotten how much God loves me. I had forgotten how much he truly adores and cherishes me. THAT is liberating.
When I run. He loves.
When I act the fool. He loves.
When I fail. He loves.
He loves through the bad.
He loves when I’m lost.
He loves despite rejection.
I’ve gone and returned.
I’ve taken and I’ve turned.
I’ve defied and I’ve hurt.
Yet, despite all of this. The One and the only. The Eternal. The Magnificent. The Holy.
He loves.
It’s funny. When I focus on loving God and loving people, the other stuff just seems to flow. I WANT to share what God is doing in me because I want others to experience what I am experiencing. We all want something MORE. Truth. Freedom. Happiness.
I’ve had little and I’ve had much. I’ve done right and I’ve done wrong. I’ve been full and I’ve been a vacuum. I must say, tossing out my religion. Getting rid of the rules and just getting back to love is the most amazing and best thing that has happened to me. I think it’s great to “know stuff” but I really just want to love God. Truly love. To love people the way God does. To be close with the One who loves me more than words can express.
It’s really hard not to sound like a total weirdo when discussing this because it is so different than what people are used to talking about. I’m still trying to understand it all myself.
I do know that I feel like I’m going the right direction again. I feel like I’m on the path.
